then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
