My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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