I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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