so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
