I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
