I feel like abortions should bother me more
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Boobs speak an international language.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
