And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
