the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
