did you get engaged???
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
