i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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