I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
