Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
