WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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