Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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