I just cut my nipple shaving
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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