I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
