I hate all girls vehemently.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
