i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is my gift to your gina
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
