So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize