I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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