how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
