whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize