Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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