I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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