You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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