so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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