May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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