He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
