If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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