Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
