You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
