Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
