She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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