i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize