remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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