If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm passing your future prison.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
