got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
