Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
