The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
