why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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