dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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