there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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