I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
