If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
