I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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