You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
