I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
