what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
