I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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