My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize