We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
