sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
