i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
