i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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