I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize