just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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