He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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