I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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