Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
