i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
