Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize