If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize