we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got inside last night via doggy door
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
