She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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